i've been on and off moving some things around in our house during my jazz listening today (so the currently upbeat good ass Patrice Rushen tracks are helpful) and my brain, when directing my body to do repetitive low attention tasks like "move stuff from a to b", wanders.
today it wandered to family music.
so, while I'm taking a break from wearing a path in some floors, I'm going to ramble, thread-style.
there's a social dynamic that's arisen over the last 20? years maybe wherein two acquaintances might find themselves at a conversation point where one asks the other "so, are there any musicians in your family?"
and then the other participant will either list off a sibling or two who played in band in school, maybe a parent who sings.
and then it's off to other topics, often, as I've seen it happen anyway.
so teaching each other music, and practicing music together, became part of social things, so that music could be shared. it's always been that way for sung music, but with the advent of the industrial revolution and some other economic changes it became easier for common folk to get inexpensive instruments. and they did - they loved it!
with the rise of consumerism and institutionalized learning and some other things, music started to become an add-on activity to life.
some people do music. other people don't, they just listen to music.
and everyone said "well, of course - some people just aren't good at music. they just aren't meant to be musicians! and that's okay!"
like I said, not all of my greats and grands were good at making music, but they did it.
some were - my aunt Minnie played church organ for fifty-some years without missing a single solitary week.
but it didn't matter either way - they learned because they did it together, they were shown and they practiced, not formally, just together as a family.
@djsundog outside of my complaints of similar things as a musician, i and also hav the vibe that i cant play/music around roommates/family
theres both insecurity and also years of being told to stop practicing because "i dont want to hear that"
like fuck what they want to hear i have to practice and im sorry that the activity isnt less invasive
when i lived in hippie jam pads in 2014-2015 i was given that chance to exp music as a SOCIAL activity and not merely an academic or consumer activity
@djsundog i read in your thread the term "apprentice" and thats a word i had missed and needed, so thank you for bringing this to my attention
bender was my mentor for busking and music (2015)
the dallas palace for better or worse was collectively my mentor for music (2014)
im at a point that even after 2-3 years of not playing trombone and uke, that i can pick them up and play them because thats how MUCH i was playing them
they became an extension of my being
@djsundog fast forward to december 2019 when i formally (and this time with meaning) joined the SCP Wiki
i had tried joining two other times, but deleted my account within a week because something felt off, i didnt feel i was mature or tactful enough for the site, and also not ready to make a commitment of being apart of the community (outside of reading)
ive read the site for a total of 12 years, 10 of those years w/o being on the site proper
and 8 of THOSE years in cali
@djsundog i also didnt want to join formally because the site is very intimate and sacred too it, it helped me keep my sanity when i was living and working out west from 2014-2021, some of those years spent homeless
SCP was something solid that i could carry with me and keep close to me, it was something that was always there no matter if i was in college (2009) or in my van (2015)
i didnt want a falling out with the community to put a bitter taste in my mouth while reading SCPs
@djsundog i knew i wasnt mature enough yet to not being an ass and get kicked out and have to burn that bridge
i didnt want to chance that with something so intimate and important to me
when i joined the site in 2019 i told myself "its now or never" when i joined i lurked mostly and quietly voted on articles
the exquisite corpse contest was announced in april 2020 and i asked myself if i wanted to make that jump
i told myself i would have to see the 2 month contest all the way through
@djsundog i felt like i had to do this to show the other writers that im capable of being a writer (and show myself)
i decided to go through baptism by fire, and that contest was TOUGH
the crits were TOUGH, the writing was TOUGH
but i saw the contest all the way through and it was my first time writing an article PERIOD
i became privy to the communal aspect of the site and how it functions like how the internet SHOULD function (not corporate, but a community)
the article didnt survive after the contest because it was truly a terribly written article, and i know this as a 10+ year old reader that it was BAD
but thats the thing isnt it? im not an experienced SCP writer, but i am an experienced SCP reader
whenever i jumped into the IRC from 2020-early 2021 i did crits and reviews and only that
because thats something im actually good at, is //mentoring// new writers
in early march of this year jam contest was announced
@djsundog tales were allowed and i decided 16 hours from the deadline to write a tale for that day's theme
that ended up being my first successful piece of writing on the site, and is now my second highest rated piece on the site
i waded further into the community, and solicited more crits and engaged more with the writers on the whole
and the end result was this contest tale
i showed the other writers that im a capable writer not just a capable critter
i also showed myself
@djsundog since then ive written four more tales and theyve all stuck to the site
even the 2 tales that i personally dont like are still on the site
as of april 1st im officially an author for the site because im qualified for an author page (3+ pieces of writing up on the site)
this only happened because im allowing myself to socialise and be apart of this; this has only happened because i have mentors
because NOW im an SCP writer apprentice
ive been working on an article since February, and kept it on the backburner
the 6kcon (contest for series 7) was announced last week and i realised "holy shit, the article i drafted in February actually fits the contest theme"
much like exquisite corpse con, i feel like ive learned more about writing in a very short amount of time compared to any english class
but the contest was announced last week
@djsundog within the last week ive learned a lot about writing SCP articles, and thats because of the sheer amount of critique ive solicited, research, and actual work ive done
its because im being MENTORED by veteran and established writers
im being mentored by new writers as well, because this is a communal deal
it doesnt matter if they are exp or not, they still have valid and good input
what im experiencing RIGHT NOW is reminiscent of what i experienced in 2014-2015 with music
@djsundog what im learning from the wiki is something that i can carry to myself closely and intimately like i have with the site for 12 years
except it isnt reliant on the site, its the art of writing and storytelling itself
which IS a social art form that i can do that isnt "invasive" like music
im very grateful for this site, and im astounded that my exp currently with it echos my exp living in hippie jam pads and busking
@djsundog and once again, SCP is the only thing keeping me sane while i deal with a toxic situation and abusive people
but im no longer alone, im no longer on the outside of this community looking in and worried that i might not be mature enough to be apart of it
that damn site is now helping me keep my sanity in a way that its never done
im hearing the individual instruments of the symphonic cacophony of the site, as well as picking up my own instrument and joining in the song
@djsundog anyway, i realise this was long, thank you for reading
and thank you for what you wrote because i have the terms now to describe my current experience
im an "apprentice (SCP) writer"
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