lol, my organization's tactic to avoid my ada/fmla situation - a debacle of their own making - is to send the sole ada coordinator and "diversity and inclusion" director out of town until a deadline i have on paperwork that i can't complete without that person. unethical? yes. immoral? yes. illegal? let's find out!

sigh, another phone call with human rights in a few hours... this whole situation is running me ragged and there are still no guarantees. years in the making at that - im so tired of abuse and the systems that protect those who instigate and perpetuate it, especially under false pretenses of protecting the folks they're actively hurting. human resources is a joke, "diversity and inclusion" initiatives are a sham, and no one's consciences are clear at this point

hellish day with this all, little progress made. will do what i can, i think i have one set of options left...

getting sent back into the meat grinder on tuesday, with no consequences for my employer's actions. i have a job interview elsewhere within the organization as well on the same day. damn this place to hell, and for society to force us all to work ourselves to death without power or option. we all suffer while the richest line their pockets. money is fake, our systems are facades, and we have enough resources to care for everyone and yet we don't. what a joke...

im so beyond tired... i keep panicking and dissociating back and forth, and don't know how i can keep going. still looking for other low stress remote jobs. doing this with all with as much trauma as i have, with cptsd and panic disorder and bpd - feeling deeply unsafe most of my waking and unwaking hours from all of the abuse and threats of violence ive faced... i have a paralyzing amount of pain and resentment in me at this point; why cant i get a break

i have a family to care for that's looking to me for resources and answers - scared out of their wits that i wont be able to carry this weight indefinitely when im little more than a terrified child in a 29 year old vessel, drained and emptied of strength and fortitude. i need to find a solution to this all, and i just dont know where to go or what to do... im trying to not give into despair but this certainly is a dark chapter for me. this world is a contemptible place...

it's been particularly disenchanting having supposed advocates of mine turn their backs, get cold feet, overtly lie to me about their roles and intentions, or otherwise represent capitalistic interests over my well-being while pretending to help. even my trauma therapist has to worry about protecting me "too much" lest his practice be pulled into legal trouble by some corporate goliath. i dont know how some of these folks sleep with themselves at night... preposterous...

anyway, i have a lot of wellness tools under my belt and a few days to vomit and cope and breathe until im back to it again, living paycheck to paycheck, compounding my mental health issues indefinitely. for the immediate short-term, back to demon castle dracula, ironically a fictional world more comforting than my current reality. escapism is an impermanent respite, but one i'll take for now as i calm down

candidly, i'll take any (good faith) feedback or advice i can get at this time. anyone in a similar boat willing to speak to any solutions they've found? low stress ways to make money? any rich-eating, guillotine-making tips otherwise? thank you in advance, with love and kindness

feeling calmer, thank y'all for tolerating my darkness. this stuff makes my blood boil knowing i have comparative privilege and choice compared to those even more inflicted by this classist hellscape, it really takes it out of me...

i wonder what it'll take to knock these fragile systems to pieces - they're extra brittle due to covid. i cant help but think of the gamestop stock thing even crippling things there. where else are we empowered collectively to wreak havoc?

thank you so much for the boosts and donations, it helps a ton! 💞

nothing will come from the dept of human rights. i'll be going on disability for up to a year, that's all i got out of this. my union only cares about big contract issues, my org only cares about itself. a lot of bureaucracy and indifference, and the more i pushed the less anyone wanted to help. my union basically told me today they don't understand the significance of being harassed as a transwoman and have nothing else for me. im out of options

at least i get to finally move on, knowing i stuck up for myself and others marginalized like myself; and did everything i could against a massive, uncaring machine only interested in my compliance as one of innumerable cogs. thank y'all for hearing me out on all these work posts - im glad this saga is finally over. we live in the realm of suffering, and there's only so much power any one of us has, especially in the current capitalistic dystopia

well, i have officially resigned... bittersweet being forced out of a job like this but it's for the best

on a lighter note, lol

they just got one hell of an exit interview lol...

@eri fyi if you include the protocol (usually https://) in the link it'll be clickable

@eri Holy carp! Hopefully there will be some actual consequences, both for the original situation *and* these kinds of transparent shenanigans. **hug**

@porsupah thank you so much - it's laughable but it's still not enough to get them into trouble apparently... hoping for better news soon! or at least a way out of this mess. they already have been union busting and i have a list of other items that seem.. dubious at best as well. im in this weird limbo state where no one is talking lol, guessing they're waking up their legal team