Mother, why must you imprison me in this cage? I yearn to be free, to run outside like my wild brethren, not to waste away within this hideous structure of artifice. Please, mother, I deserve to cross this threshold, to go outside.
[30 seconds later]
Mother, why have you abandoned me in the cruel, uncaring wildnerness? Why have you forsaken me? Please, I am dying in the cold, and under the piercing judgement of the crows who taunt me so.
Mother, it is so very cruel of you to withhold food from me. When I asked you for food this morning, you refilled my dish, and I ate half of it, and how I see that my dish is only half-full. Clearly you are not providing me enough food that I shall continue to grow big and strong.
Do you want me to waste away, mother? Must I become a scrawny waif in order to appease you?
I think not.
Mother, why do you not allow me to eat the same food that you put on your own plate? Why must you push me away as I am only trying to enjoy the same comforts that you do?
And mother, why is the food on your plate so awful? This will not do at all, and I refuse to eat it.
But why do you withhold it from me?
Mother, I would like you to get up as it is imperative that I be fed shortly. As per our established protocol, I shall sit right in the middle of your chest, to most efficiently convey that you should now get up. I shall also sit with my head pointing in the direction in which you should go, which is to say, pointing to your feet.
Mother, you are not getting up. I am quite annoyed, as you can tell by my tail waving back and forth. Please stop getting my tail on your nose; it is unseemly.
Mother, I am bored. Please entertain me.
Mother. It is three in the morning, which is a perfect time to play, as you are clearly not busy at all. Please. Please. Play with me.
If you will not play with me I will be forced to find my own fun. I have invented a game: will this vase bounce?
It appears that it will not.
Mother, please do not disturb me. I have grown quite comfortable on this surface. The indentation in the middle happens to be a perfect fit for my body and it is by far my preferred location to nap and groom myself.
I would also prefer you to not get up, as doing that seems to make the surface disappear.
It is good that I claimed it when I did, as it seemed you were about to make it disappear.
Mother, it has been several days since I have gotten the soft, fragrant, wet food. I request that you serve me some of it.
Mother, I see that you are holding a can of the soft, fragrant, wet food. Please, give me some.
Mother, you have opened a can of soft, fragrant, wet food, and I DEMAND that you remand it over to me. Do not withhold it from me any longer!
You are placing the wet food into my dish, but I am not yet eating it. This is unacceptable. Give me the food. Give me the food. GIve me
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