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the cutest creature you've ever seen ambles up to you, with big eyes.

"hi, what's your name?" they ask.

you give your name and they smile.
"they call me the volcano!" they giggle. "it's because of all the virgins i've annihilated."

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my gender:
witch that lost a duel to another witch and, as per the fight conditions, is now her familiar, and is less and less secretive about how much she actually loves it

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Your phone lights up with a new text.
"Alarm status?"

You check the town's emergency 'BOYS' sign, but there's no flashing lights. Thank God.

As you type out a response, a spike of paranoia suddenly grips you.
You check the sign, and cold terror grips your spine as you realize: someone has stolen the lightbulb.

The boys are back.

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Make some noise if any of you out there are desperate to escape the confines of humanity and feel free to express themselves without the crushing existential despair that accompanies everything you assign as 'human' !!!

looking at new names idly. i wanna take the last name of a partner but i do have to note the surname of Lawless

Heather Lawless

that's cool as hell

internet harassment, mental ablism 

i suppose this isn't exactly enlightening, just gosh.

it's just really sad to see. i wish it didn't happen.

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internet harassment, mental ablism 

we all gotta stop jumping onto the whole "lol this person is crazy" trainwreck spectacle cycle.

i get the temptation to rubberneck, but the internet keeps pushing people to dangerous places just so they can gawk at them.

especially in video games, people seem to gravitate towards the desire for a mental health freak show, and if someone isn't the freak folks want them to be, they get pushed and prodded into deeply unhealthy states to justify to dehumanizing

Woof, that nair facial cream stuff tells you to test only a small amount and even that is a hell of a lot

Got some burns that better not stick around in scar form, I stg

pokemon was kinda weird, capitalism, 4 

with that said, i do really love that aspect. It could be for the most cynical reason in the world, it still held this really great aspect that I think kids still enjoy today.

learning about mythological creatures and reading minutae about monsters, like, that's a legitimate joy.
So yeah, I should say that pokemon wasn't just about mindlessly repeating prices or whatever, but it sure as hell would seem like it to an adult.

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pokemon was kinda weird, capitalism, 3 

so yeah, i have no doubt kids are still Collecting Them All and memorizing them, but there's a reason First Gen is so revered. It was just the right reachable/repeatable amount for the franchise to be like

"STUDY ALL OF THEIR FACES. MEMORIZE EVERY DETAIL. INTERNALIZE THIS IN YOUR SOUL"

i repeatedly read the pokedex and was proud that i could recite what moves oddish could learn. i wanted to remember their heights and weights, even

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pokemon was kinda weird, capitalism, 2 

And as loathe as I am to ever say this: you might have to be at least a 90s kid to totally get what i mean.

Back in the first gen, the whole obsessive completionist stuff got pushed so much harder.

I'm not saying Nintendo chilled out - this is about the number of Pokemon. 150 was a number that was small enough to recite, collect, show off on the playground.

then it went from 150 to 251, which was more daunting. Then 386. That's asking more of kids.

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pokemon was kinda weird, capitalism 

I am very fond of pokemon and enjoy that it exists. pokemon are cuties and it rules that this age has its own kinda yokai or folktale creatures or however you want to present it.

but honestly, at age 30?
thinking back to the initial public outcry over it?

I totally get it now.

Like, it was a pretty fucked up thing to introduce to the world.
For heaven's sake, the slogan was "gotta catch em all." we had posters and songs reciting each one.

Cursed capitalism thing to say #2 

Back in my day, kids earned money with lemonade stands. Now all they have to do is monetize their Minecraft Experience.

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Cursed capitalism thing to say 

Somebody praising their five year old's art

"that's some good content, honey"

In the meantime, I'll wait here and think about my favorite brands and intellectual properties.

do you ever see someone's profile display "follows you"

and you're like

haha

why

lil sad trans thought 

i've never worn a swimsuit or bikini and i might never do so

i don't necessarily want to look hot in one, it's just like

dang, my body parts just kinda, like, i don't feel like i'd be brave in one

anyone who would look down on your lifestyle is very unlikely to live a life in which they would ever request or deliver headpats to a loved one

*slides into your DMs in socks after you've polished the floor*

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