I keep making attempts to get into Elite: Dangerous after being handed a copy years ago, bouncing off of it completely, and giving up for another 5 to 6 months. I've racked up like 20 hours and never finished the tutorial.

I am the space opera equivalent of a Wisconsin shipping clerk who has spent 30 years swearing he'll actually get his pilot's license, spending 2 Saturdays a month psyching himself up to go over 15,000 feet before getting too nervous.


"I'm what you might call a real voidchaser," I say, polishing the hood of a Colonial Viper up on blocks in my front yard that, near as anybody can tell, has never once left ground. "I sleep down here, but living? I live up there." I become woozy from the height of my stepladder.

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