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if you wanna be a cute girl

you can just

be a cute girl.

but more importantly, you are worthy of love whether or not you choose to be cute and/or girl ❤️💕

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I still don't really have any idea what to ask for; my only references for hair shapes are, like, anime characters.

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secret gender power(?) move: tipping the difference between the price of a women's haircut and the men's haircut they billed you for

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I scheduled a haircut for the first time since March 2020.

I have a lot of hair now, like, down to my mid-back. I've been wearing it in a big messy ponytail because otherwise it covers my eyes.

I didn't (and still don't) have a plan for "feminine haircut" besides "well I'm sure I'll have more options the longer I grow it" (and telling the stylist that I wasn't interested in a "masculine" haircut)

I think if I totally stay away from computer game two days in a row that should be enough to get it out of my head (for purposes of falling asleep, trance/meditation stuff)

but then what will I do between tasks / reward myself with?

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yesterday I did laundry & set up notebook, today I… took the last load of laundry out of the drier and rolled some hair out of my carpet

more room cleaning in possible but idk what, if anything I'm going to work on next

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I did finish the game, eventually, but in so doing I kinda hit a mental saturation point where I'm hyperfocused on it? I guess I was when I woke up, too, but now the hyperfocus is on a different build / strategy I want to try…

+1 point to me for sticking with a game till the victory condition, -1 point cuz by forcing myself through the less fun part it's now lodged even deeper in my head

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aliens who discover humanity through the VRMMOs they left behind

alien worldbuilding // 

there is no "standard" form any more. those who live in sunlight tend towards a waxy black succulent radar dish shape, but there are stranger shapes cavorting in the deep. nowadays there are many with specializations for physical manipulation and land mobility. a brave few venture into orbit, or even make themselves into interplanetary probes.

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alien worldbuilding // 

alien metaspecies with senses that that can roughly determine chemical structure, and an array of glands that can excrete various helpful 1-3 carbon molecules. coming from their oceans, they mastered organic chemistry before working glass or metal. their industrial revolution is when they learn to engineer forms optimized for production. their information revolution when they turn their bioengineering to signal processing and brain extension.

gonna try to push through the part of the strategy game where, having built the unstoppable army, you now have to very slowly march it through mountains and swamps to inform the remaining enemy commanders that you have won the game

just now realized I mixed up "march" and "may" whoops

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writing on both sides of the pages in this notebook (with ink) and uuhhhh it sure does show through the other side, especially when I do filled bubble letters and what not. maybe I should have stuck to the right side only?

AoW rambling // 

the AI in this game is normally pretty aware of unit spacing; as soon as you research one of those "jumps to nearby targets within 2 hexes" tactical operations, then even the grasshopper monsters will spread out 3 hexes apart.

on the other hand, they don't seem to be able to take into account the instant teleport skill (7 hex range, after normal movement) in combination with the huge 2 hex radius point-blank lightning surge AoE

• addendum for Fedi users: its pinned fiction index thread is it has not been fully backfilled yet; older posts may be in a different order and/or reference a previous account.

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• there is no empty spaces/doll twitter/dolltwt canon.
• Dolls and Witches and Angel Girls and Stillness and Purpose and Moths and etc. are different across every writer.
• you are just going to have to take the source materials as they are in the context where you find them.

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hypnokink: bored hypnoswitch, stuck at home by herself 

she's got a decent mic and headphones from that podcast that never went anywhere, an active imagination, too much free time.

she tries recording some scripts. just for fun. what the hell, tfw no domme gf, be your own domme, right? plus that means she can use her own favorite induction. (if she never hears another progressive relaxation, it'll be too soon.)

the first time she hears herself in Audacity, she cracks up. this is so goofy. but, still, there's just a faint possibility lurking that it could be very, very hot.

she deletes, re-records. adjusts her pop filter, re-records. changes the order of things around, re-records. it's actually sounding pretty good now, but…

in the stark blue-white light that she uses before noon, sitting in her gamer chair, it's hard to believe that it'll work. so maybe she'll tweak the odds in her favor. she's been in the domme mindset while recording. what would she want as a sub?

she digs through the drawers in the back of her closet. ah. that outfit. the one she bought to impress you-know-who, but never got to use, due to, let's say, creative differences. and… oh, it'd go nicely with those three bits from the toybox.

she holds them up to herself in the bathroom mirror. yeah. okay. yeah. she's feeling this. it's not perfect, maybe, but it's solid. she imagines seeing herself dressed in it, waiting on her bed, and bites her lip.


that night, she puts the outfit on, adjusts buckles and cinches so it's comfy but tight. she flips the smart lights to a lurid cliche shade of pink. look. don't judge. it works for her.

she copies the audio from her desktop to her phone. she puts on the good headphones. she plugs them into the adapter cable, plugs the adapter cable into her phone.

she grins a sheepish grin to nobody, mutters, "here goes nothing". taps play. closes her eyes.

and then she drips her own voice into her head.

ooooh. shivers. is that really her? she's half paying attention to the words, half taking mental notes on what she'd do differently next time, but it still feels more authentic, more authoritative, than she was expecting…


and then, an indefinite amount of time later, it's over. huh. interesting; not earthshattering. she doubts any of the suggestions are actually going to stick.

but she's impressed herself just a bit with the production values. not bad for a first try. might as well play it again…


okay, she realizes the next morning, she fell asleep. that's what happens when you close your eyes in a comfy bed for long enough. nature takes its course.

she laughs, takes the outfit off, goes about her day. at least she got some decent sleep out of it.


a few days later, she hears the doorbell. delivery guy. she checks her stoop for the package. unfamiliar sender. but she's been doing a lot of online retail therapy lately, and sometimes she forgets what she ordered.

she opens the box. takes out the contents. clothing? black. okay, it's probably hers, that's her style. she shakes it out a bit, realizes what she's holding, and *drops*.

eyes blank, she closes the bedroom door. she shucks her day clothes, carefully puts on the outfit from that weird night, puts the new clothing on with it, its look and feel slotting like a key into her mind.

she opens the audio player on her phone to the *second* file, the one she somehow forgot about. she plugs in her headphones. she presses play…


another indefinite amount of time later, she snaps back to consciousness, panting, her fingers gently slowing from furious activity between her legs. she realizes what she's doing, what she's wearing.

blushing furiously, she thinks about how this is really, really fucking hot for her. backtracks. thinks about how it might have happened. then about how hot this is, again, but from a different perspective: the satisfaction of a job well done.

"sneaky, sneaky," she murmurs, then realizes that she had better take the trigger clothing off, now, in case her mindset shifts back to where it might kick in again.

well… maybe she'll take a look in the mirror first.

after all, she feels safe with her partner. how could she not? they've been together her whole life. □

fiddled with hypno script a bit, but I didn't do anything about the missing conclusion / climax

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