ph-, venting, end of my rope 

so anyways i am seriously just fucking done with the pain.

i almost went to the emergency room last night because i hade taken the maximum dose of every pain med i can get over the counter. i laid down in bed and could barely move at 8pm, and by 12pm i was in tears and struggling to keep my shit together. i could barely even shift my weight

holding my phone or a cup was even too much as my hands were on literal fire.

ph-, venting, end of my rope 

i went to my GP this morning, and the best they offered me was "go see a chiropracter", to which my only response is "alright see you in 2 weeks"

im so fucking sick and tired of being caught like this. of feeling like i cant do anything to make things better.

i just want to be taken seriously or offered any amount of help or care that isnt entirely temporary. i need support and healthcare, not fucking dismissal and being shuffled out of the clinic

ph-, venting, end of my rope 

i get in this level of pain at least once a fucking month - at *least*

should i just start going to the ER? should i just pay for all of this care out of pocket? should i just pull the trigger and pay for a wheelchair out of pocket or crowdfund for one?

Because fucking frankly, im really hitting the end of my rope. i just want to walk without pain. i just want to feel like i can do everyday things like cook

but instead i have to wait 6 months to see a specialist

ph-, venting, end of my rope 

6 months - if im lucky - to see a specialist who very well may outright dismiss me because im trans. dismiss me because i have mental health diagnosis

and im just fucking not here for it

im not here for more dismissal

i dont want to have to go through several specialists before one will even treat me with respect

because its already happened so many fucking times and i just cant deal anymore

i cant deal with doctors treating me like im less than human

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ph-, venting, end of my rope 

my GP today asked me to go see a physio therapist, and im just so not prepared for that.

especially after my last experience with physio in which i was told i was making up my pain and that i just needed to toughen up and stop having mental health

like fucking no thanks i dont wanna deal with that shit anymore

i just need someone to tell me where to go and what to say so that i can get some fucking pain relief goddamnit

wheres the local trans support dammit

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